The Love Habit
Love is the fuel that makes all things possible.
Don’t go looking for it in all the wrong places. In fact, don’t even try to figure out the right places! Love is not something you find. Love is something you tap into. Love was the beginning of you. At your conception, love produced your very existence. Love dwells in every cell of your body. The challenge is to acknowledge this reality and make a commitment to love.
Love is a choice you make.
Love is a commitment.
And most importantly, love is a verb.
You have to “do” love.
Love done every day, in every thought, word, and action is the ultimate habit work. Habit work is an essential part of my S.H.I.N.E. Coaching Methodology™. Habit work (the “H” in SHINE) is vital to shaping and shifting your life. If you want to live a more vibrant life, a life pulsating with energy, excitement, and fulfillment, you must seriously, consciously, choose habits that produce the life you say you want. A habit is a settled practice. Choosing the love habit releases the fuel that exists within you. If you practice love with intention and attention, you will literally light up and illuminate the world around you.
You know how it feels when you know someone loves you?
It feels warm.
It feels exciting.
It feels amazing.
And when you feel all this, you want to love the person who is loving you right back.
I believe the world desperately needs love. I feel it is a moral obligation to release love into the world for its healing. Why not make a personal contribution to the world’s biggest problem?
Let’s make it a habit to love!
Again, I repeat, you have untapped love to give. In this month of February, I implore you to choose the habit of love. Be a catalyst to create a world filled with love. Stop lamenting the hate, the angst, and the violence that exist in our world. Instead, create a love habit.
Habit work is a commitment to behavior change. Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect world full of imperfect people. In order to love this world and the people in it, you cannot wait for a feeling to come. It is a decision, a judgment, and a habit you must put in place. Love is a steady execution of behaviors that seek to bring the ultimate good to the world.
Here are four behaviors you can choose to instill the Love Habit in your life so you can shine!
4 Ways to Practice
the Love Habit
Listen without interrupting.
Listening to someone without interrupting demonstrates serious love. Simply holding someone with your undivided attention with the intention of acknowledging their opinions, feelings, and genius creates a safe space for another individual. The lack of listening in the world produces misunderstandings, derails relationships, and threatens peace. Make it a habit to listen to others completely, fully, and without interruption.
- Speak without accusing.
This is otherwise known as "speaking your truth in love". Speaking your truth in love means that your words are honest but offered in a way that builds others up. There is no reason to accuse, label, or resort to name calling. Instead, offer feedback in the form of a “C-3.” The C-3 is a safe, proven, effective structure that allows you to give constructive feedback to others. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
- Forgive without punishing.
People make mistakes. The phrase “He’s only human,” is a fact. When you are hurt, it will save you tremendous energy and time if you will simply acknowledge that fact. You’ve made mistakes before, and I am sure you’ve received forgiveness. This kind of love is called grace. Offering grace is love that focuses on maintaining relationships rather than a personal desire or need to be right.
- Promise without forgetting.
Following through on a promise builds up love. When you know you can count on someone to do what they say they are going to do, a solid layer of trust forms. “I trust you,” is better than “I love you,” because you may not always trust the person you love but can always love the person you trust.